The End of My Rope

Here is my space to vent about all my daily drama. This is all about my five kids, my divorce experiences, my dream boat boyfriend, my experiences with school and all the things that happen in my day-to-day life. Well...I thought it was boring but....your reading it now right....must be appealing to you :)

Friday, July 28, 2006

What is happening to me?

I am becoming an old woman. Today I have decided to borrow books from the library about canning and planting flowers. When the heck did this happen? I used to be cool. I feel like six months from now I will be in a big fluffy hat, on my hands and knees, planting stuff. Yikes.

Sunday, July 23, 2006

typical Sunday....

....just sitting here putzing along on the internet and had an idea for a post come to me.
There are things that I love and things that I hate on Sundays. See if you share my thoughts.
It's Sunday....your supposed to be lazy.
But Monday is right around the corner.
Big meals are a Sunday staple.
Cooking big meals is a pain.
All the kids in the neighbor hood are home to keep my munchkins occupied.
After they play outside, my kids have to have a bath which takes away from my lazy time.
Sunday always seems like the best day to work on projects....repotting plants, painting shelves etc.
Sunday always seems like the best day to work on projects....repotting plants,
painting shelves etc.
The Sunday Paper
Sunday TV
...all that I can think of for now.
Question of the day
Why am I screwing around on this computer instead of playing with my man and kids?
Bye bye

Friday, July 21, 2006

while you are at it...


....while you are at it.....please examine this picture carefully. This is my son Christian's "special" things. They came from on top of his dresser, in two drawers of his dresser and on top of mine (my dresser is in their room....what can I say....we are like sardines in here). It's mostly trash and he is FREAKING out because I want him to consolodate this CRAP into one drawer. Am I a crappy mom to not want my son keeping a hold of this stuff or what?
HELP AGAIN

Miss Daisy?




Great pics right? That is my three big kids on go carts at Joyrides yesterday. We had such a blast....and the baby was unusually quite and happy to just stroll along and look at everything since there is nothing for him to do.
We (me and dreamboat, my son christian and another little boy) are waiting in line for big go carts that the adult has to drive and kids have to rie in and I have already said that I will take Christian in mine and he looks over at me and says....wait for it....."Are you sure you can drive that?"
OMG....Are you kidding? Of course I can DRIVE that. I ask him....do you think dreamboat can? He says yes but....can I?
ARRRGGGHHHHH. What have I done? Where did I go wrong? Why is my son to sexist ALREADY? How did he ever get the idea that I can't drive a go cart just because I have breasts?
HELP....what can I do to correct this?

Monday, July 17, 2006

back to it....

....already back to school. sigh. I need more time. You know....to do nothing like I have been doing for the last ten days. Shame on me huh?
I had my first serious computer class today and OMG, I am surrounded by GEEKS.
Don't get me wrong, I am a geek. I have spent a long time trying to hide it but I have decided to be proud of my inner-geekness.
But these are like hard-core, d and d playing, Heavy Metal watching, pocket protector-wearing, can speak of nothing that doesn't have a memory, a monitor and an enter key geeks.
Yikes I think. What the hell am I doing here anyway? I should be doing something cool and poetic. Running some book store or head shop or hippie club...or something. Why am I doing this? I don't even know what these freaks are saying half the time.
Why am I doing this? The most important thing in all American's life's.....money. Head shops and book stores and such don't pay very well. So I have, sadly, given up my "cool calling" for more money.
Dear God, please don't let me EVER spend my whole break time talking about the d and d chat room I was on all night because I have NO OTHER LIFE.
Sigh....to all of you that do such things...I am sorry but damn. I just don't want to be all that but you go ahead with your....dork self.
Question of the day?
Why is it that dreamboat and I posses a TON of music on our computer as well as CD's and the thing that he enjoys the most of all is the Asshole song by Dennis Leary?

Thursday, July 13, 2006

The Duck Man....

.....got to love Duckie....you know, from Pretty in Pink. If you have not seen this flic or it has been along time...watch it again. He's great. I know, sure as heck, that I would have choosen him over BLAINE. That isn't even a name. I love everything about him. The outfit....the quick comments "Do I offend?" and especially his undying love for Andy.
Do I do that? Treat the one that loves me more than anything else, like second string to others. I don't mean other men....just other....stuff. Do I act like dreamboat is an inconvienence like Andy does to Duckie? It's very possible. It isn't how I feel. Not even close. Dear God....what would I do without that man. I can't even fathom.
But watching her and getting angry at her for the things she says about Duckie "Ever have one of these?" she asks Annie Potts' character. I realize, I do that with Brian. Andy loves him....I love dreamboat...but I take his differences and treat them like a pain when they are truly just...the things that make him him.
Anyway...weird. I wasn't going anywhere close to this when I started typing. Guess I had to get that off my chest. The thing I wanted to chat about is.....my kids love Duckie....especially the scene where he lip syncs Otis Retting's Try a little tenderness.....when he is dancing around all crazy.
So, close to the end, Duckie does the classic pelvis thrust...which gets my kids into a gaggle of giggles and then my daughter says....look at Christian mom....he can wiggle his wee wee too.
Sure as heck, I look over and my 7 year old son is doing a very good impression of Duckie/Elvis/Billy Idol...which ever you choose and I....just look. What do you say. Don't do that. Doesn't make sense but....dont' do that....go back and play with your Ninja Turtles.
I don't say that....but I want to. I am very much like Marlan from Finding Nemo. Have to let go eventually Jess....they go one way or the other.
Anyway...even with the trama of him "shaking his money maker"....he was pretty cute. I hope I can etch that into my mind along with all his other cute stuff and remember it when the house is empty and clean and the kids have kids of their own.
TTFN

Sunday, July 09, 2006

My little woman


Had to go and peek after the last post. Had to watch while she slept. Now have to share this image with all of you. Music blarring away....and she is still little enough to be cuddled up with all those stuffed animals.

When did that happen?

Sigh....my little girl....isn't a little girl. She is....a little woman. And it's frightening to me.
Yesterday....she was tiny. She needed me. The things she wanted were...ponies and barbies. Her face was chubbie and her little body had baby fat. Now....she doesn't need me for nearly as many things as I would like. She likes ponies and barbies but...the biggest things she got for her b-day are her ears pierced for the second time and a boom box to listen to music on.
Not kiddie music either. Not Bah Bah Black Sheep. As I stood tonight outside her door, she was listening to the Dixie Chicks....belting out the same lines that I belt out...the same way I belt them out. The Dixie Chicks....my music.
Don't get me wrong. It's cool that she knows it. I have tried...sometimes to no avail....to lightly, ever so gently, press my musical appreciation on to my children. I enjoy singing along to Brown Eyed Girl or Jaded with all the kids singing along as well. But...when did it happen that she is doing that alone? In her room, on the way to bed. I must have turned my head for a minute, probably to watch another kid for a sec....and she went and GREW UP.
And her face....another thing I noticed today. We won't even talk about all the teeth she is losing. But her face. So heart shaped and beautiful. Freckles across the bridge of her nose. She isn't a little kid anymore. She is like pre-pre-teen.
What do I have to look forward to next? Wonderful things I know...but also scary things....boyfriends and make-up and mean friends.....being embarrassed by me....GOD FORBID.
I have to watch out....I have to keep looking....if I turn my eyes away from these kids for a minute....the change and grow so much....I get shocked when I realize it. God...please help me to PAY ATTENTION. Don't let this time get away from me.

Friday, July 07, 2006

time for reunions....

....what a week I have had.
Don't you just love it when you get to see old friends that you haven't seen in awhile. My friends came down with their kids from Missouri and that was great fun. Whenever I am around them....especially hipchick....I just feel so elated to be me. They are just such a fun family and their kids love my kids...it's just always a pleasure.
Went to lunch with a dear friend I haven't seen in awhile and come to find out his whole life is upside down....in a good way. He is the most honest-to-God christian that I know and getting together with him is always enlightening as well as fun.
While out with him...we both run into an old friend of ours....haven't seen her in years and years. It's kind of weird....things with her ended kind of rough and it was like it never happened. We just hugged and laughed and were happy to see each other again. I think it was fate.
I wish that I had enough time to be a mom....and a girlfriend....a daughter.....and a friend...all the time. I just cant' seem to squeeze it all in. Whenever I focus on the kids...everyone else gets left behind....if I spend time with friends....poor dreamboat and the house get neglected. Always always...never enough time.
Oh well.....this week has still been great.
Question of the day
Why does it seem that the older I get....the more often I feel like I am playing grown up...instead of actually being a grown up:)?

Sunday, July 02, 2006

Dreamboat art....


......kinda cute. Atleast the kids. It's a lazy day and I don't have much to say so...you can check out my cute kiddos.